Thodi Si Asha

Diwali day today and also the day where i fulfilled one of my long pending dreams - to light a 10000 wala !!

As much as i contribute to a pollution free environment - this is one dream which i could not wish away with my reasoning - be it monetary or be it with a social cause !! It was a sheer burn away of the little hard earned money. It was sound pollution for 5 full minutes.... but in that 5 minutes the myriad of emotions which ran through me - is something which is unexplainable - an extraordinary moment of rapture - comparable only to the next best thing : I hope somebody recognises this !!

I may be completely wrong by many a rule book : but who has made these rules !! Restrictions imposed by law, governments, society, families, siblings, parents and self !! As a law abiding citizen I firmly believe that my freedom ends where an other's nose begins - but that is all !! Every other rule has its twists and turns and its own flavours. Live life as a present .....

Thodi si Asha - maine aaj puri kar li !! With all these dreams getting fulfilled - i edge to the call of death with open arms - I have very very few dreams to be fulfilled before i RIP. Surely i should be known as a person who lived life every moment as it is present - fully and enjoyably !!

Festive Spirit

With Diwali just about a couple of days away, everyone around is in a festive mood. Shopping, Shopping and more shopping ....... As the much saved bank balances are getting depleted by the hour, it is time for bonding, sharing, giving gifts and thus the happiness that emanates - warms your soul - to the extent that bank balances are treated as material whims....

But come to think of it, if gifts were not bought, don't we still share our happiness during this time. Even if one did not feel ecstatic - the festive spirit around us - starts creating a sense of happiness - and in giving and sharing this starts touching us in a manner that it becomes a reality. What a wonderful way of creating this festive spirit in our souls !!

Hats off to our mythology - we weave stories around the reason of celebration - we do not believe it to be history - but we do celebrate !! Celebration of life is quintessential to our existence lest we get drawn into the quagmire of life - that is the essence of the festive spirit. The happiness which these festivities create reassure us that goodness wins over all evil. Hope is the straw which we hold on to in the most dire circumstances. And the festive spirit rekindles that hope.

Happiness is not complete without the feeling of love, feeling wanted, of loving - and this love is unconditional. A love which makes you wait with bated breath for a fulfilling moment - the festive spirit enables happiness resplendent with such love. So what am i waiting for - there is the festive spirit which is doling out happiness to me - completing my unrequited love - And i receive it with open arms, mind, soul and body !!

To be or not to be.........

One of my favorite phrases of Shakespeare that has to yet sink in. The more i think about it the more engrossing it is !!

The duality of life is amazing. As Swamiji aptly puts it - you have to be the seer instead of the seen.. being a victim is one being victimised is another .... the choice is in your hands.... At every stage of life, every act during the day, every gesture of a moment - there is a choice, sometimes the choices are prominent - sometimes they are not and hence the decision becomes so easy that we think we did not have a choice but at times there are powerful reasons for each choice to exist that the decision is tough. This seemingly complicates our life and we get engrossed in the means rather than the outcome.

I have a choice to be happy over what life has doled out in the last couple of weeks - if i chose to ignore this happiness because it could also trail some not so happy moments for some one - some where !! But do i have a choice ? Of course yes !! Do i know the not so happy moments or the consequences ? May not be !! Then why do i fret ? Fear of the unknown !! Yes !!!!!!!!!! This is what I refuse to admit, but there is a hidden fear based on my prejudices, moral bars and perceptions !! This fear factor complicates life for me and those who love me.... So should i be happy or not be happy ??

I keep aside my fears and chose to be happy !! Life is too short to keep pondering over "To be or not to be........................."

Casted .....

Life has been one roller-coaster ride for me - that's what i thought until i twisted my ankle - that's when i realised how it would be to come down from the spiralling heights with a speed that made me so dizzy - i felt life was collapsing around me - my commitment, my liabilities .... Oops i have created more mess for my loved ones...... till my leg was CASTED and assurances from the docs and reassurances from my loved ones that it is a matter of a few weeks - everything would be all right .....

So as the hours clicked with the cast on- and i was making contingencies for my routines - every day was a drag - here now there was a count down to the magic number of 21 days so that i could return to normal life... In three weeks life revealed to me so many things .... I woke up to harsh acceptances of truth. Some were not so pleasant but some were absolutely fabulous what life has handed over to me in the name of providence. These three weeks of confinement was like 3 hours of an super duper hit bollywood movie - thoda rona - lots of laughter and of course tons of love --- would i have got this otherwise - may not be . So being casted in the drama of life - i feel like a heroine now - the diamond which was discovered with tons of pressure - the cast now gone and ready to take life head on !!

Now i realise what is a roller coaster ride ........... i just had to be CASTED !!