Every man is free to have his perception of people and events. Perception is one's understanding, assumptions, reactions, judgements based on certain facts which occurs in the past or present. As a citizen, this definition is given and nobody delves into the realms and probably just brushes it aside with the thought/saying "It is so-and-so's perception" and life moves on.....
But does a person in position of authority like a political leader, Prime Minister, CEO, or the Presidents and office bearers of a social group have such liberties of brushing aside perceptions. The answer is a definite "NO". We fail and forget that these people are human beings too, but the expectation from them, because they have been gracious enough to shoulder responsibilities implies it is their bow down duty not to have perceptions !!
So are perceptions wrong ? No !
Can you refute someones perception ? You can try to do it - but may not achieve success - and this is not only dependent on you convincing and influential skills -it depends on how strong rooted the other perceptions are !!
So perceptions are common are ordinary - as long as they do not impact an other's life !!
When your perceptions do not fall in line with the norm - the not-so-ordinary - that's when either u could land in trouble or land others in trouble... And that is when all hell breaks loose...
I may sound as a matter of fact here - but right here as i write this article i am pounded by perceptions of two couples. While i am no one as a person to pass judgement, i am being looked upon for some encouraging words, since i hold a coveted role in my society. I hate this sticky situation - but i am warned from voicing my perceptions. It could be not-so-ordinary perception, but I should not voice it out ......
Anybody with similar experiences is welcome to share !!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Two Sides of the Same Coin - Dichotomy of Life
Everything in Life is dual in nature !! Strange as it sounds, but it remains a fact.
The day dawns on us as the sun rises, and as we toil through the day, we wait for the bliss of night, and as the sun sets, it rests our tired body mind and souls. As we look forward to another day, we look to rest too. In the height of monsoon, we long for the cool weather and we are awaiting the winter months - time for festivals - heights of our cultural gait and then we unwind - letting our hair down thru christmas and new year parties... As we wear ourselves down, we look forward for the spring and the warmth of the sun - exam time vacation - and then long for the skies to give us the elixir of life thru rain ... And so goes on life - day & night , monsoon --> winter --> spring --> summer, year after year...
Just as the changing times and as we expect it with open arms - with a mindset to receive it clockwise - our minds are most often not tuned to the ups and downs of life. We refuse to see that after every bright spot is also a moment of sadness - an opportunity to reflect and count our blessings. I believe that mountains are beautiful because of its deep ravines and valleys - i get philosophical in life. This belief was further strengthened by Swamiji who elucidated this point through a Zen story and wrapped it in the sublime power of simplicity :
A Zen master was rowing a boat with his disciple who was perplexed with life's sadness and happiness. To make his point - the Zen master started rowing on only one side. As with the laws of rowing - the boat started to go in circles - and they were no longer heading towards their destination. Now the Disciple understood the meaning which was explained by the Master - Life's journey has the good and the bad and both need to go in hand to reach our destination - to complete the journey.
Look at a coin - Just as you have the heads - so too the tails are necessary to complete the coin !!
Much simpler said - and less understood. The diamond is a product of compression of coals for millions of years - the most cherished product by millions world wide. Brilliance of the diamond is complemented by the years of hiding in the crust of the earth !! Strange but true.. Look at every great personality on this earth. They have not achieved their title or status by virtue of being a common man. Their dedication, perseverance and toil (here is am not making judgements of the good and the bad people - cos i firmly believe that the so call evil doers too have toiled hard for the wrong reasons) have gained them their stature. Every glory has a gory story but not necessarily all gory stories have a glorious representative - their choice maybe different.
The dichotomy of life as much as a complex phenomena, it may appear - needs to be lived and enjoyed every moment. As children when we dont get into too much of analysis of this - it blows away like a wind, but as we traverse through the many facets and roles of life - we complicate it and look for answers - when in reality they are deep within. So lets face life with the child-like abandon and the two sides of the same coin can be accepted with open wanton - a life to cherish and enjoy !!
The day dawns on us as the sun rises, and as we toil through the day, we wait for the bliss of night, and as the sun sets, it rests our tired body mind and souls. As we look forward to another day, we look to rest too. In the height of monsoon, we long for the cool weather and we are awaiting the winter months - time for festivals - heights of our cultural gait and then we unwind - letting our hair down thru christmas and new year parties... As we wear ourselves down, we look forward for the spring and the warmth of the sun - exam time vacation - and then long for the skies to give us the elixir of life thru rain ... And so goes on life - day & night , monsoon --> winter --> spring --> summer, year after year...
Just as the changing times and as we expect it with open arms - with a mindset to receive it clockwise - our minds are most often not tuned to the ups and downs of life. We refuse to see that after every bright spot is also a moment of sadness - an opportunity to reflect and count our blessings. I believe that mountains are beautiful because of its deep ravines and valleys - i get philosophical in life. This belief was further strengthened by Swamiji who elucidated this point through a Zen story and wrapped it in the sublime power of simplicity :
A Zen master was rowing a boat with his disciple who was perplexed with life's sadness and happiness. To make his point - the Zen master started rowing on only one side. As with the laws of rowing - the boat started to go in circles - and they were no longer heading towards their destination. Now the Disciple understood the meaning which was explained by the Master - Life's journey has the good and the bad and both need to go in hand to reach our destination - to complete the journey.
Look at a coin - Just as you have the heads - so too the tails are necessary to complete the coin !!
Much simpler said - and less understood. The diamond is a product of compression of coals for millions of years - the most cherished product by millions world wide. Brilliance of the diamond is complemented by the years of hiding in the crust of the earth !! Strange but true.. Look at every great personality on this earth. They have not achieved their title or status by virtue of being a common man. Their dedication, perseverance and toil (here is am not making judgements of the good and the bad people - cos i firmly believe that the so call evil doers too have toiled hard for the wrong reasons) have gained them their stature. Every glory has a gory story but not necessarily all gory stories have a glorious representative - their choice maybe different.
The dichotomy of life as much as a complex phenomena, it may appear - needs to be lived and enjoyed every moment. As children when we dont get into too much of analysis of this - it blows away like a wind, but as we traverse through the many facets and roles of life - we complicate it and look for answers - when in reality they are deep within. So lets face life with the child-like abandon and the two sides of the same coin can be accepted with open wanton - a life to cherish and enjoy !!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Life with a Loss
"Death is the only inevitable of life "
Every being born on this earth, has to die. That is the ultimate truth of life. - I understand the profound philosophy of this truth. I know I have to face this for all my near and dear ones and for myself too. With all my life's trials and tribulations - I too have my fears. Through my tough times, I never feared of my death - the thought is hilarious to me. So what if I die ? I don't know. Do I care about the effects my death would have - maybe not, maybe yes. But let me talk about my deepest and profound fears - I only fear death - for it may snatch away the two most important human beings of my life - my life givers - my parents - my mother and father.
My father - His loss is what makes me pour out my thoughts here. As much as i think i am part of my mother's soul - my father has been my guide and protector. He has been there for me since i was born- my provider - my backbone of life. His support to me cannot be expressed in writing alone. The bond which i shared with my father was just like any father-daughter bonding, but that bond has been so strong, that I think everything else in life fades away even in its memory. My father taught me to live life, he taught me to learn from his mistakes and he taught me to take life head on. "Do what pleases you, you live life only once" was his oft repeated words. And he lived by example. He was a smoker, and any attempt to stop him, he would reprimand me "I know this is a vice. But i just cant give it up. If by stopping smoking, i would live to be 75, and by smoking i should die at 68, so be it, i prefer the latter. At least i would die in peace that i have no regrets" And he welcomed death at 68 - the medical reasons did not attribute it to his smoking. And only i know that he lived his thoughts too. he just did not preach, but be practiced till his last breath.
When he was in a critical condition, deep in my mind I knew that his time has come to leave me. I hoped against hope that he will continue to live with me, but i did not want him to live in any kind of pain or discomfort. I understood death was inevitable to any human being. I prayed to the Lord, from the bottom of my heart - "God, if you have destined him to live without pain and discomfort, let him come out of this condition, else let him rest in peace in your lotus feet" God answered my prayers and made him an angel. My prayers were answered. I performed the last rites for my dad, with no tears in my eyes. My relatives and friends were perplexed. I comforted them that my dad does not like me to cry, so i am his brave daughter. The rites and rituals performed, i prayed again that my dad's soul should rest in peace and all his sins, if any, forgiven.
But at that time little did i realise, that was not the end of grief for me. It was only the beginning. How much i miss him now, cannot be expressed in words. From the time i wake up in the morning till i retire for the day, from my dressing to office or parties to what I eat, from my social friends to my acquaintances - my dad heard me all. He emptied me in a manner, that for each new day i was a clean board. History of my life was in memory to keep the learning's, but each day i lived in the present as a present. The corner of the board was my plan for the future, my dashboard. Now i need to do it in memory only. He made it a habit, and not it is part of me. He is not there in person, but his loving hand is there guiding me and pushing me to the next level.
The loss is physical. My prayers answered on his death bed is no longer a thing to rejoice - especially when i am depressed and he is not there to comfort me. So there is my next prayer - "God when am i going to be next - as soon as possible cos this lack of physical bonding is unbearable and this time please Lord, it should be with my soul too - cos she cannot live without me". My friends refrain me from such prayers as i have my son to raise. But God is the all provider. He has guided me for a year now without my father, he will guide my son through without his mother. And maybe my son too will have his own perception of Death and Bonding !!
Every being born on this earth, has to die. That is the ultimate truth of life. - I understand the profound philosophy of this truth. I know I have to face this for all my near and dear ones and for myself too. With all my life's trials and tribulations - I too have my fears. Through my tough times, I never feared of my death - the thought is hilarious to me. So what if I die ? I don't know. Do I care about the effects my death would have - maybe not, maybe yes. But let me talk about my deepest and profound fears - I only fear death - for it may snatch away the two most important human beings of my life - my life givers - my parents - my mother and father.
My father - His loss is what makes me pour out my thoughts here. As much as i think i am part of my mother's soul - my father has been my guide and protector. He has been there for me since i was born- my provider - my backbone of life. His support to me cannot be expressed in writing alone. The bond which i shared with my father was just like any father-daughter bonding, but that bond has been so strong, that I think everything else in life fades away even in its memory. My father taught me to live life, he taught me to learn from his mistakes and he taught me to take life head on. "Do what pleases you, you live life only once" was his oft repeated words. And he lived by example. He was a smoker, and any attempt to stop him, he would reprimand me "I know this is a vice. But i just cant give it up. If by stopping smoking, i would live to be 75, and by smoking i should die at 68, so be it, i prefer the latter. At least i would die in peace that i have no regrets" And he welcomed death at 68 - the medical reasons did not attribute it to his smoking. And only i know that he lived his thoughts too. he just did not preach, but be practiced till his last breath.
When he was in a critical condition, deep in my mind I knew that his time has come to leave me. I hoped against hope that he will continue to live with me, but i did not want him to live in any kind of pain or discomfort. I understood death was inevitable to any human being. I prayed to the Lord, from the bottom of my heart - "God, if you have destined him to live without pain and discomfort, let him come out of this condition, else let him rest in peace in your lotus feet" God answered my prayers and made him an angel. My prayers were answered. I performed the last rites for my dad, with no tears in my eyes. My relatives and friends were perplexed. I comforted them that my dad does not like me to cry, so i am his brave daughter. The rites and rituals performed, i prayed again that my dad's soul should rest in peace and all his sins, if any, forgiven.
But at that time little did i realise, that was not the end of grief for me. It was only the beginning. How much i miss him now, cannot be expressed in words. From the time i wake up in the morning till i retire for the day, from my dressing to office or parties to what I eat, from my social friends to my acquaintances - my dad heard me all. He emptied me in a manner, that for each new day i was a clean board. History of my life was in memory to keep the learning's, but each day i lived in the present as a present. The corner of the board was my plan for the future, my dashboard. Now i need to do it in memory only. He made it a habit, and not it is part of me. He is not there in person, but his loving hand is there guiding me and pushing me to the next level.
The loss is physical. My prayers answered on his death bed is no longer a thing to rejoice - especially when i am depressed and he is not there to comfort me. So there is my next prayer - "God when am i going to be next - as soon as possible cos this lack of physical bonding is unbearable and this time please Lord, it should be with my soul too - cos she cannot live without me". My friends refrain me from such prayers as i have my son to raise. But God is the all provider. He has guided me for a year now without my father, he will guide my son through without his mother. And maybe my son too will have his own perception of Death and Bonding !!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Success - A Perspective
The Lord gave us two ends - one to sit on and the other to think with. Success depends on which one we use the most.
- Ann Landers
One of my favorite quotes,which has seen me through the ups and downs of life.... the choice is in my hands. Fate and Destiny are powerful terms and unknown, uncomprehensible by the common man. Fear of the unknown is one which eats into our very soul. So I know that I have to choice to sit and brood over my fate or think about "What Next". This phrase was my dad's driving force for me to plan and execute my next actions, be it in my professional life or my personal life. When overwhelmed with problems I would sit and cry. But will my tears change the situation or the person whom I want to change. Most often the answer would be no. In such a scenarious, why am I wasting my precious tears. So i would start worrying coz I should not cry.... But Worry is like a rocking chair.... it keeps you busy but takes you no where... So "WHAT NEXT ?" I have to do something to get out of my troubles. look at Plan B, if not Plan C and somewhere there are solutions. The path is tough, but there is a solution... and life moves on..
And so i always knew how to attempt for Success - which end to chose ? the one to sit on or the one to think with ?
- Ann Landers
One of my favorite quotes,which has seen me through the ups and downs of life.... the choice is in my hands. Fate and Destiny are powerful terms and unknown, uncomprehensible by the common man. Fear of the unknown is one which eats into our very soul. So I know that I have to choice to sit and brood over my fate or think about "What Next". This phrase was my dad's driving force for me to plan and execute my next actions, be it in my professional life or my personal life. When overwhelmed with problems I would sit and cry. But will my tears change the situation or the person whom I want to change. Most often the answer would be no. In such a scenarious, why am I wasting my precious tears. So i would start worrying coz I should not cry.... But Worry is like a rocking chair.... it keeps you busy but takes you no where... So "WHAT NEXT ?" I have to do something to get out of my troubles. look at Plan B, if not Plan C and somewhere there are solutions. The path is tough, but there is a solution... and life moves on..
And so i always knew how to attempt for Success - which end to chose ? the one to sit on or the one to think with ?
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