How many times have we heard a person first and created a mental image of that person ?
The rich baritone of a voice mesmerises the heart... In the churches, the pastors are trained to reach out to the masses with their voice and their diction so that the message of God touches the very soul...
Those who do not visit churches take solace in the divine renditions of some of the great vocalists. In addition to the language of the lyrics - the deep inner meaning - the rendition - the voice is what connects to the Supreme. And I would extend the same and as much as most of us don't admit it or take it for granted, the voice does play an important role in a personality definition !!
And I unashamedly admit - the voice is as important an attribute when I build relationships... Cultivating the tone, the undertones, the accent as a trait and eventually making it a part of the persona is the detailing of a personality description and such people are definitely on the high list of people I seek !!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Different Facets
Multiple Personality is something which not all of us accept that we possess. "Tell me your dreams" authored by Sidney Sheldon was the first time I was exposed to the disorder of Multiple Personality and the movie "Anniyan" was a brilliant depiction of this disorder in true desi style...
This set me thinking and re-thinking on the hypocrisy of life and when does one draw a line... A myriad of thoughts on what one thinks, talks and actually does in life - easily brushed aside that it is the call of the role - daughter/sister/wife/mother/aunty/grandmom or son/brother/husband/uncle/grand-dad or the employee/boss/employer relationship.
The roles are different facets of life and in living up to these roles - somewhere deep within the personal realm is lost. We are so sunk in the whirlpool of life that some of us don't realise our personal needs until it is too late while some others do want to satiate their needs and wants, but are caught in the trap of their rules by the different facets of life.... Oh Oh.... Sad but true.... and the extremities of the needs vs the rules may give arise the facets to personalities and when one is not conscious lead to the disorder with possible undesirable consequences.... So what ? Isn't that life ?
When one finds solace beyond the different facets of life - and can let go without an emotional baggage - which we know by powerful word "guilt" - is it wrong ? Is it right ? Varies from person to person - based on the life stage - based on the priorities .... and if one can add this other dimension and be content - Is that not nirvana ?
Different Facets .... yet another facet added !!
This set me thinking and re-thinking on the hypocrisy of life and when does one draw a line... A myriad of thoughts on what one thinks, talks and actually does in life - easily brushed aside that it is the call of the role - daughter/sister/wife/mother/aunty/grandmom or son/brother/husband/uncle/grand-dad or the employee/boss/employer relationship.
The roles are different facets of life and in living up to these roles - somewhere deep within the personal realm is lost. We are so sunk in the whirlpool of life that some of us don't realise our personal needs until it is too late while some others do want to satiate their needs and wants, but are caught in the trap of their rules by the different facets of life.... Oh Oh.... Sad but true.... and the extremities of the needs vs the rules may give arise the facets to personalities and when one is not conscious lead to the disorder with possible undesirable consequences.... So what ? Isn't that life ?
When one finds solace beyond the different facets of life - and can let go without an emotional baggage - which we know by powerful word "guilt" - is it wrong ? Is it right ? Varies from person to person - based on the life stage - based on the priorities .... and if one can add this other dimension and be content - Is that not nirvana ?
Different Facets .... yet another facet added !!
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Perception Management
In the recent past, I was convinced by a very senior professional that "Perception is Reality". And in the overall scheme I thought, I knew what it meant and put some of my skills to manage perceptions. And as many of us would agree there is a very fine line between professional life and personal life, perception management also crept into my handling of personal relationships. Of course this is a trial and basis and I am aware at times - this will work and most of the time it will not.
It is so much easier to handle, Perception Management in a professional realm. The success is measurable in most simple ways - you are either accepted maybe through evaluations on the job or you are given feedback on the opportunities of improvement.
In the personal front, living is all about authenticity vs. acting, self-respect vs acceptance. If I am authentic, I am being judged by the social norms and rules. I am branded from being a rebel to being in-genuine. So i need to manage the perceptions and be accepted as a normal social animal. Hence I need to act hiding my needs and wants and be socially acceptable. In the process, there is hypocrisy in the relationships and then i lose my self-respect !! But who cares, as long as i am socially acceptable, the world around sees me as a happy-go-lucky go getter... And this honour should keep me going.. Outwardly successful .... but the Inner success has taken a beating ..... My inner self has taken a beating .... and to rely on anyone to help me out is mere foolishness !! Nothing wrong with anyone not willing to help... but to expect the thought process to be synchronous is wrong. Hence it is all about Perception Management !!
Manage my wants, needs and thoughts - driven entirely by the factors which contribute to inner and outer success... and manage others to see what they want to see :-) So much for Brand Identity through Perception Management !!
It is so much easier to handle, Perception Management in a professional realm. The success is measurable in most simple ways - you are either accepted maybe through evaluations on the job or you are given feedback on the opportunities of improvement.
In the personal front, living is all about authenticity vs. acting, self-respect vs acceptance. If I am authentic, I am being judged by the social norms and rules. I am branded from being a rebel to being in-genuine. So i need to manage the perceptions and be accepted as a normal social animal. Hence I need to act hiding my needs and wants and be socially acceptable. In the process, there is hypocrisy in the relationships and then i lose my self-respect !! But who cares, as long as i am socially acceptable, the world around sees me as a happy-go-lucky go getter... And this honour should keep me going.. Outwardly successful .... but the Inner success has taken a beating ..... My inner self has taken a beating .... and to rely on anyone to help me out is mere foolishness !! Nothing wrong with anyone not willing to help... but to expect the thought process to be synchronous is wrong. Hence it is all about Perception Management !!
Manage my wants, needs and thoughts - driven entirely by the factors which contribute to inner and outer success... and manage others to see what they want to see :-) So much for Brand Identity through Perception Management !!
Monday, February 23, 2009
Catalyst - to Free me
Many a time I wondered when people around me said that "So-n-So had this big impact in my life" - How can one person have an impact on my ideologies, values, my past present and future ? Are these not what we define for ourselves. Am I not in control of my life - my actions, my attitudes, my success or failure ??
Till recently i was closed to the fact that someone can have an impact in my life. I was so full of myself and I was in absolute control of my life.... And then the journey of life got me into a deep valley - where personal life, work, health were taking its turn to reach its lowest ebb and I hit upon a ray of light in a friend who was by my side and saw me driving through this valley. With words of encouragement and support, this friend helped me find answers to my woes, and helped me rebuild my strength in preparation to scale the highs.... A friend indeed !! I am short of words which can express my gratitude ....
And probably my actions made my friend uncomfortable on continuing through this journey... Alas what did i do ? One friend has this impact in my life - and I refuse to share the special place of this friend - and this appears to be binding ?? A matter of perspective... And i am given time to refrain from this friendship - lest it turn out to be more special ?? Its like being banned from my freedom to chose my friends and the relationship i share with them.. This ban is a binding on my personal space. How could I allow an intrusion in my space... Again i have been so engrossed in firming up a friendship that i allowed my personal space to be constrained. Will such a constrain build or break this relationship ?? Too many contradicting thoughts - and then I remember the words of wisdom "let go".
As much as i value Friendship - which is a keep for lifetime, I also value my space. I needed a catalyst to help me free from my binding thoughts and I also value the friend who helped me realised this. Now i realise the profound statement "So-n-so did have an impact in my life"....
Till recently i was closed to the fact that someone can have an impact in my life. I was so full of myself and I was in absolute control of my life.... And then the journey of life got me into a deep valley - where personal life, work, health were taking its turn to reach its lowest ebb and I hit upon a ray of light in a friend who was by my side and saw me driving through this valley. With words of encouragement and support, this friend helped me find answers to my woes, and helped me rebuild my strength in preparation to scale the highs.... A friend indeed !! I am short of words which can express my gratitude ....
And probably my actions made my friend uncomfortable on continuing through this journey... Alas what did i do ? One friend has this impact in my life - and I refuse to share the special place of this friend - and this appears to be binding ?? A matter of perspective... And i am given time to refrain from this friendship - lest it turn out to be more special ?? Its like being banned from my freedom to chose my friends and the relationship i share with them.. This ban is a binding on my personal space. How could I allow an intrusion in my space... Again i have been so engrossed in firming up a friendship that i allowed my personal space to be constrained. Will such a constrain build or break this relationship ?? Too many contradicting thoughts - and then I remember the words of wisdom "let go".
As much as i value Friendship - which is a keep for lifetime, I also value my space. I needed a catalyst to help me free from my binding thoughts and I also value the friend who helped me realised this. Now i realise the profound statement "So-n-so did have an impact in my life"....
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Health - Greatest Asset bestowed
Someone in the past once reminded me that Wealth is lost something is lost - but if Health is lost - All is lost !!
The profoundity of the statement dawned on me in the recent couple of days. I believed in it when it came to my near and dear ones around me - I just thought i was way above it. But when the stomach infection hit me back and had me sick all over - I was stubborn that my system will in its natural course recover and return me to normalcy !! Alas - I was wrong since the virus insisted on strict measures and being hospitalised is no mean experience with the nurses trying to find veins for the IV fluids and not finding the right entry !! OOPS - the most physically painful experience till date !! Thank God for small mercies and my attending doctor relented to my requests and i came along home singing that i got away - but Mr. Virus had me weak and dancing to its tunes - weak and drained and craving for some good food other that all the semi-solid porridge's.
Health is important - i need to focus on my diet and my woes will vanish !! Being the foodie i am - just need to change my perspectives and my Expectations. After all - Health is Wealth !!
The profoundity of the statement dawned on me in the recent couple of days. I believed in it when it came to my near and dear ones around me - I just thought i was way above it. But when the stomach infection hit me back and had me sick all over - I was stubborn that my system will in its natural course recover and return me to normalcy !! Alas - I was wrong since the virus insisted on strict measures and being hospitalised is no mean experience with the nurses trying to find veins for the IV fluids and not finding the right entry !! OOPS - the most physically painful experience till date !! Thank God for small mercies and my attending doctor relented to my requests and i came along home singing that i got away - but Mr. Virus had me weak and dancing to its tunes - weak and drained and craving for some good food other that all the semi-solid porridge's.
Health is important - i need to focus on my diet and my woes will vanish !! Being the foodie i am - just need to change my perspectives and my Expectations. After all - Health is Wealth !!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Memories....
People love to create memories and then afraid they have created an indelible mark.
One man's gain is an other's loss - maybe - fear of the how and where it is going to be used... fear or tying one down. There is nothing right or wrong about the fear than the fear itself isn't it ? I feared to create some good memories - cos i was more bothered about the logistics of creating rather than the experience. Looking back i do regret - i did not create the great memories that i was capable of creating - be it at work or personal life !! So i really have nothing to reminisce !!
NO ! but i don't regret it - cos that would be measuring by someone else's yardstick !!
So what do i have now ... some very obvious memories which some people will remember me by.. some very dark secrets which is privy to me and i cannot share with anyone ... not even the soul which initiated it... so what am i talking about ? I am reminding myself to let go - allow the cosmos to absorb me as the soul - remove the man-made inhibitions - in the process i may appear selfish to some - selfless to some - but that is not the purpose of my existence... others perceptions and hence their memories about me !!
It is about give myself in all its entirety to the world created around me - my mom, my son, my career, and the numerous relationships i have entered into by choice - do my best and leave the rest to MEMORIES !!
One man's gain is an other's loss - maybe - fear of the how and where it is going to be used... fear or tying one down. There is nothing right or wrong about the fear than the fear itself isn't it ? I feared to create some good memories - cos i was more bothered about the logistics of creating rather than the experience. Looking back i do regret - i did not create the great memories that i was capable of creating - be it at work or personal life !! So i really have nothing to reminisce !!
NO ! but i don't regret it - cos that would be measuring by someone else's yardstick !!
So what do i have now ... some very obvious memories which some people will remember me by.. some very dark secrets which is privy to me and i cannot share with anyone ... not even the soul which initiated it... so what am i talking about ? I am reminding myself to let go - allow the cosmos to absorb me as the soul - remove the man-made inhibitions - in the process i may appear selfish to some - selfless to some - but that is not the purpose of my existence... others perceptions and hence their memories about me !!
It is about give myself in all its entirety to the world created around me - my mom, my son, my career, and the numerous relationships i have entered into by choice - do my best and leave the rest to MEMORIES !!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Double Edged Sword
How many times in life - have I been given an opportunity, an avenue to decide on the path, the destination ?? And the irony is every time this has been a double edged sword !! Whichever path I chose, I am the absolute winner or the absolute loser. Ain't that a wonderful situation to be in ??
So what are my learning's from these choices ? That I have taken responsibility of my actions and my choices. I have taken a risk, worked hard on it and I own the results. There are multiple occasions - where I have been the loser ..... but looking back they were learning's to make me a little wee stronger. Was not that a half glass full of water and i knew i had to add to add more water - if wanted a full glass of water. And sometimes when i did win, it gave me a new ray in a despondent life.
So does a double-edged sword exist - maybe not - It is just a idiom to reiterate to myself that i am responsible for my choices. Why am i talking about it now ? I have more than one double-edged sword hanging on my head - and i am sure much later in life this blog will remind me of the choices i have made !!
So what are my learning's from these choices ? That I have taken responsibility of my actions and my choices. I have taken a risk, worked hard on it and I own the results. There are multiple occasions - where I have been the loser ..... but looking back they were learning's to make me a little wee stronger. Was not that a half glass full of water and i knew i had to add to add more water - if wanted a full glass of water. And sometimes when i did win, it gave me a new ray in a despondent life.
So does a double-edged sword exist - maybe not - It is just a idiom to reiterate to myself that i am responsible for my choices. Why am i talking about it now ? I have more than one double-edged sword hanging on my head - and i am sure much later in life this blog will remind me of the choices i have made !!
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